Wowzers where the fuck did that come from….?
I was involved in a crash with my friend Mr Mental Health again which I honestly never saw coming. I have come to terms that I’ll have battles with my demons now and again, but some of the time I get a little heads up to say look out fucker!
My fitness was on point and feeling strong life was on the up! FitnessMomentum45 was slowly starting to take shape too after some initial self doubts. I started volunteering at my local Army Cadets and was enjoying it before being accepted to be a PI.
Feeling pretty good I signed up to do another White Collar Boxing Show at Durham with PWCB at roughly the same time as volunteering. Even before our first official meeting about training and the Show I’d managed to sell 5 Ringside tickets…..
I had even started fundraising again for the Veteran’s Garage in Manchester. As it got nearer to our first meeting at Unity Gym I was excited about getting fitter still and more cut. Paul & Nick are top class Coaches and I had really enjoyed my last experience with them at another Show. The meeting went well and it was a really good wee crowd in too.
Fast forward a wk and I had withdrawn from the Show with immediate effect. Not the easiest decision to make knowing I had really let Paul & Nick down and the other’s in the Show. I couldn’t afford to not shift the remaining 5 Ringside tickets as I’d got stung for 5 tickets at the last show!
When we started up FitnessMomentum45 I was focused and driven. I was hitting my goals fitness wise and the next plan was to sort our Fitness Apparel Range ( very happy to say with a new supplier it’s very much still a go ). The next step was to sit my Level 2 & 3 Personal Training. I had written goals down and was making progress on them ticking them off .
Then out of the blue chinning off my PT Course and missed out on an offer at the time. I could see a pattern emerging in front of me – you quit – you quit – you quit – YOU QUIT!! The memory of failing my Level 2 twice before gave me the “fear”.
” Fear of failure can be crippling to someone who has failed often “
I was struggling beforehand with my diet and this was just exasperating things with my moods the lot. The Keto Diet which I had started implementing and lost a stone in weight before any training had fell by the roadside. Yet while on it I felt fantastic even though not 💯 Keto I was doing well on my path.
I have always pushed myself hard and put the time in to training to achieve my physical goals. Either losing weight as it has swung like a pendulum over the decades or hitting a specific time in a marathon. I am confident in my ability to do this over and over again.
Being confident in my physical abilities I’m nailed on even with a dodgy back and not being cocky! Yet others I am not and it cripples me with anxiety and fear – am I the only person who feels like this……?
I have my wife, son, and a one or two friends tops who believe in me and have the confidence in me to succeed. Without me having the confidence then I fall at the first jump!
Can my confidence in me as a person return time will tell………